April 2011
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I’m beginning to realize that you’re the only thing that can make me happy. I guess I’m gonna sit around and be by myself until I finally get my chance with you, or get a chance to be with somebody better than you. Call me crazy, but I know what I want and I know how to get it. Honestly, the fact that I’m always the “other girl” makes me feel like complete and...
March 2011
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Today suckeddddddddd. Ryan and I are no longer gonna be kicking itttt, because I don’t know I just don’t feel right about it. It sucks, but eh. I guess it’ll be better to just be alone for a while. Kinda sucks cus that only means my attention will be focused more on somebody that I DON’T need to be thinking about, but eh it happens. My heart still hurts. I wish you...
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If you text me and flirt with me while you’re dating someone. You clearly aren’t happy in your situation. And that person does not deserve that at all. You just want someone there to say you have a girlfriend. You need the attention. Grow up.
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I think we’re running out of alcohol tonight I hate this fucking town, and all my best friends will be the death of me.
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You’re leaving these scars scattered round my heart, a road map of all the places you have been but I can’t escape, can’t wash this away when love has burned your mark so deep within. If I said I want you back I’d be a liar, there’s nothing left of us to long for anymore but inside the ashes burns an endless fire and every night I can’t help reaching out for...
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I haven’t posted about this yet really, cus I’ve been kind of just letting it sit in my system until I found the right words to say. Finding out that SHE is your girlfriend now, out of all the fucking people it could be… it’s a huge slap in the face to me ha and I cannot believe I let you lie to me for so long. I’ve never had someone do me dirty like that. She was the...
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Today was productive. I cleaned and switched my whoooooole room around haha :) and added a bunch of crap to my walls, old band shirts that I cut off the fronts of and pinned to my walls, rave posters, band posters, all that kinda bullshit, a bunch of hello kitty shit ya know~ now it’s time so smoke a bowl and relax :)
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This blanket is all we have, all we’ll ever need. You ask about the future, I say this is where I wanna be.. this is where I wanna be. And until now, I’ve never touched an angel, and until now, everything was fine.. and until now, I felt so ordinary, and until now, I never knew that someone felt like me.. It didn’t even feel like me.
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To do list for tomorrow; clean and re arrange my room and make it look like I actually live in here again hahaha? and maybe unpack my boxes from Texas… FINALLY. I hungout with Ryan all day today, it was nice we cuddled and kissed a lot hah he’s cuuuuuuute. Ryan just found out it’s spring break for him this week meaning we can hangout all week? Dope! I’m stoked. :) I took...
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Here goes nothing.
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It’s really rainy lately which makes it an even worse time to be sad all the time. I’m trying really hard to be happy but I’m struggling.
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I sat at the beach tonight with Taylor and Ryan haha it was nice. I re evaluated a lot of things in my life and I think that I am a truly shitty person. No matter how much I think that I love or care about someone, I always do something to destroy it. Always. It is bound to happen in every single thing I involve myself with.. but I think that Ryan is very understanding and he likes to listen,...
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You were the one person I thought was absolutely perfect in every single aspect, and now this? I don’t know who to be more disappointed with, myself or you. Me, for even writing this post about you.. or you, for lying to me so much. I don’t know how people lie like that to others. You’ll always be the one fucking thing that I want. God damn.
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I just hope that you miss me a little when I'm...
and yes, this is to you. If you read this, I miss your presence in my life and it’d be nice to hear from you every once in a while I know you want nothing to do with me, but when the day comes that you forgive me and wanna be there, I’ll be here. Always.
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Ryan James Thompson, I love you.<3
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“I think you’re an amazing girl. You have a wonderful personality. You make me happy. You’re beautiful. You have an amazing smile. Mesmerizing eyes. You make me laugh. You just put a smile on my face whenever I talk to you and that’s hard to do now.”
I’m lucky you are mine, and I get to hear you tell me you love me every single night before you go to sleep and...
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I know you are sad right now, and I just need you to know that I will be here for you when all this goes away. I love you, unconditionally.
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I know it may sound selfish but just so you know, it would really really hurt me if I found out you were with someone else. You will always be the one thing that I want.
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“Allison Gerchy, I still love and care about you. I want this to be something that will last. I just am afraid of being hurt again, but I am willing to let you back in my life because I have and always will love you. You mean the world to me and I would love to make this something more with you. Ps. I want to practice making lots of babies with you ;)”
You are the one person who has...
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and so I drink to stay warm, and to kill selected memories cus I just can’t think anymore about that, or about you tonight, but I give myself three days to feel better, or else I swear I’ll drive right off a fucking cliff cus if I can’t learn to make myself feel better, how can I expect anyone else to give a shit? and I scream for the sunlight or a car to take me anywhere, just...
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I miss the feeling of your lips on mine.
